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Accept Yourself, Flaws and All and Carry On How many new clients do I see a week? Well, honestly it depends on the week. Sometimes only one, and other weeks I can meet three or four. The thing that many of them have in common is their experiences with therapy (as compared to coaching) and the feeling after therapy that there is something “wrong” with them. After all, a therapist doesn’t generally get paid by insurance without a diagnosis…right?

When I teach people how to ask for referrals, this is the push back I usually get:

“I don’t want to make my client feel uncomfortable by putting them on the spot.” “I don’t want to look needy or unsuccessful.” These are two of the million reasons why people aren’t confident asking for referrals and introductions. Look, I get it! I totally understand. I was there. I am still there everyday. I, too, need and ask for referrals.

There are few blessings bestowed upon us by the social sciences as significant and inescapable as the Implicit Association Test (IAT). It was presented to the worshipful world in 1988 by a team of social scientists and has grown since them to be indispensable as a tool for marketing researchers,

When you’re in a funk—for example, getting your marketing moving—it can seem impossible to get out of that funk. The key lies in acknowledging and validating your feelings rather than effort alone.

Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, named six ancient fears that limit your success if they continue not confronted. The first step to successfully prevailing over them is first to recognize where they're limiting you.

  I often work with business people and most of them want to use their time more efficiently. That being said, most of them fail to use their time as well as they might. Some aren’t even aware they could be better at it. A few, on occasion, just really don’t care. But I tell them they should care. I remind them that much of life’s value is mostly—or maybe even completely—a result of how well we use those precious, limited numbers of breaths we are given at birth. Take it from a guy with a pacemaker… your breaths are limited in number.

"A man who dares waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life."

—Charles Darwin

At one time or another, we all need more than one type of love, so nurture more of these and see how your life goes.

This post is written for my clients who are—or anyone else who has ever been—grief-stricken, broken-hearted, or has ever lost love of any kind.

The Lunch Hour Payoff

How many of you skipped lunch last week, or will likely do it this week? Do you spend your lunch “hour” wolfing down leftovers or a sandwich at your desk, or maybe just skipping lunch to make sure that project that project you’re working on is perfect? If you are anything like me, you probably did.

What kinds of things are you afraid of? Do they make any sense to you? How about elevators? If an elevator can terrify you, then you can learn to respond differently. You can change any pattern of behavior you experience.

I can’t know your inside experiences anyway, so why talk about it? You don’t have to talk about your inside experiences to change them. In fact, if you talk about it, your therapist may end up being your professional companion. You know what your phobia is. Is it something you see, or hear, or feel?

People often tell me, “you’re not looking at things from my point of view” and usually they are literally correct. Let’s try an experiment. Think of some argument you had with someone and you knew you were right. First run a movie in your mind of just how you remember things. Now run a movie in your mind of the same events or things, but from the point of view looking over the other person’s shoulders so that you see yourself as the disagreement occurs. Watch the new movie from beginning to end, seeing it from this viewpoint.